Riceburner
Lifetime Member
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2003
- Messages
- 1,760
- Reaction score
- 123
- Points
- 1,158
- Location
- N.B. Canada eh
- Country
- Canada
- Snowmobile
- SideWinder LTX 50th
Saw this on another Site.
Thought you might get a Kick out of it.
Not sure what happened to #6.
How to prepare yourself for Snowmobiling........
1. Go to your local snowmobile repair shop, smile and give the
first guy you see $200. This will get you used to spending money
there on a regular basis.
2. Fill a 50-gallon barrel with sand. Lower it into a hole. Now
lift it out. If you can, add water to the sand and try it again.
Do this 5 times per day. This will get your back in shape for
lifting your sled out of the deep snow.
3. Tie a rope to a heavy-duty spring. Pull the rope repeatedly with
each arm until the pain in your shoulders meets somewhere in middle
your back. This will get you in shape for starting your buds sled,
which he conveniently forgot was out of gas.
It's best to do this exercise while someone is spraying starting
fluid into your nose and eyes also.
4. Drink four ounces of cod liver oil mixed with a strong laxative.
Dress with long underwear, wool pants, snowmobile bibs, insulated
boots and heavy coat.
Walk far into the woods without any paper products and wait for a
personal emergency. This get you prepare for the Beer shits that
come out of nowhere, and at the wrong time.
Never buy used Snowmobile pants.
5. Place your hands in a bucket of ice water for 20 minutes. Put the
carburetor from your lawn mower in the bottom of your deep freeze.
Now climb in the deep freeze, shut the lid and overhaul it while
holding a pen light in your mouth. This gets you prepared to work on
your sled in the freezing cold and black of night. Advanced riders
do this with a leatherman tool
7. Dress up in your new $350 snowmobile bibs. Pour 2 stroke oil
down the right leg, gasoline down the other and Peppermint Schnapps and Beer all over the front. Fill your boots with ice cubes and ask
your wife or girlfriend to dance. This will prepare her for the stops at
the local bar after a ride.
8. Put on a Balaclava and a full-face helmet. Attempt to drink hot
chocolate through the opening. Advanced riders attempt this while
riding a lawn tractor over in the nearest farmers' field.
9. Find a place where you can pay $3.50 a gallon for regular gas;
$19.99 per quart of oil; $16 for a hamburger and frozen French
fries; $3 for a coke and $60 to sleep in a cold cabin on a bed with
springs sticking through the mattress. Stay for two nights, minimum. This
will prepare you on the high cost of your future winter trips.
10. Practice explaining to your banker why you need another loan
for a $40,000 truck to pull the four $10,000 toys, in your $9,000
trailer that you still owe $40,000 on.
Now, you are 50% ready, and somewhat conditioned to head for the
trails and ride your sled.
Thought you might get a Kick out of it.
Not sure what happened to #6.
How to prepare yourself for Snowmobiling........
1. Go to your local snowmobile repair shop, smile and give the
first guy you see $200. This will get you used to spending money
there on a regular basis.
2. Fill a 50-gallon barrel with sand. Lower it into a hole. Now
lift it out. If you can, add water to the sand and try it again.
Do this 5 times per day. This will get your back in shape for
lifting your sled out of the deep snow.
3. Tie a rope to a heavy-duty spring. Pull the rope repeatedly with
each arm until the pain in your shoulders meets somewhere in middle
your back. This will get you in shape for starting your buds sled,
which he conveniently forgot was out of gas.
It's best to do this exercise while someone is spraying starting
fluid into your nose and eyes also.
4. Drink four ounces of cod liver oil mixed with a strong laxative.
Dress with long underwear, wool pants, snowmobile bibs, insulated
boots and heavy coat.
Walk far into the woods without any paper products and wait for a
personal emergency. This get you prepare for the Beer shits that
come out of nowhere, and at the wrong time.
Never buy used Snowmobile pants.
5. Place your hands in a bucket of ice water for 20 minutes. Put the
carburetor from your lawn mower in the bottom of your deep freeze.
Now climb in the deep freeze, shut the lid and overhaul it while
holding a pen light in your mouth. This gets you prepared to work on
your sled in the freezing cold and black of night. Advanced riders
do this with a leatherman tool
7. Dress up in your new $350 snowmobile bibs. Pour 2 stroke oil
down the right leg, gasoline down the other and Peppermint Schnapps and Beer all over the front. Fill your boots with ice cubes and ask
your wife or girlfriend to dance. This will prepare her for the stops at
the local bar after a ride.
8. Put on a Balaclava and a full-face helmet. Attempt to drink hot
chocolate through the opening. Advanced riders attempt this while
riding a lawn tractor over in the nearest farmers' field.
9. Find a place where you can pay $3.50 a gallon for regular gas;
$19.99 per quart of oil; $16 for a hamburger and frozen French
fries; $3 for a coke and $60 to sleep in a cold cabin on a bed with
springs sticking through the mattress. Stay for two nights, minimum. This
will prepare you on the high cost of your future winter trips.
10. Practice explaining to your banker why you need another loan
for a $40,000 truck to pull the four $10,000 toys, in your $9,000
trailer that you still owe $40,000 on.
Now, you are 50% ready, and somewhat conditioned to head for the
trails and ride your sled.
