Getting in shape for sled season!

[yamahaguy]

I got this from a fellow snowmobiler in a email, enjoy.
--------------------------------------------------------------

How to get Conditioned for Snowmobiling (the new rides)

1. Go to your local snowmobile dealer, smile and give the first guy
you see $200. This will get you used to spending money there on a
regular basis.

2. Fill a 45-gallon barrel with sand. Lower it into a hole. Now lift
it out. If you can, add water to the sand and try it again. Do this 5
times per day. This will get your back in shape for lifting your sled
out of the deep snow.

3. Tie a rope to a heavy-duty spring. Pull the rope repeatedly with
each arm until the pain in your shoulders meets somewhere in middle
your back. This will get you in shape for starting your bud's sled,
which he conveniently forgot was out of gas. It's best to do this
exercise while someone is spraying starting fluid into your nose and
eyes also.

4. Drink four ounces of cod liver oil mixed with a strong laxative.
Dress with long underwear, wool pants, snowmobile bibs, insulated
boots and heavy coat. Walk far into the woods without any paper
products and wait for a personal emergency. This gets you prepare for
the Beer edit for bad language that come out of nowhere, and at the wrong time.

5. Place your hands in a bucket of ice water for 20 minutes. Put the
carburetor from your lawn mower in the bottom of your deep freeze. Now
climb in the deep freeze, shut the lid and overhaul it while holding a
pen light in your mouth. This gets you prepared to work on your sled
in the freezing cold and black of night. Advanced riders do this with
a leatherman tool.

6. Dress up in your new $350 snowmobile bibs. Pour 2 stroke oil down
the right leg, gasoline down the other and Butter Ripple Schnapps and
Beer all over the front. Fill your boots with ice cubes and ask your
wife or girlfriend to dance. This will prepare her for the stops at
the local bars during a ride.

7. Put on a Balaclava and a full-face helmet. Attempt to drink beer through
the opening. Advanced riders attempt this while riding a lawn tractor
over in the nearest farmers' plowed field.

8. Find a place where you can pay $1.40 a litre for regular gas;
$19.99 per litre of oil; $16 for a Hamburger and frozen French Fries;
$3 for a coke and $160 to sleep in a cold cabin on a bed with springs
sticking through the mattress. Stay for two nights, minimum. This will
prepare you on the high cost of your future winter trips.

9. Practice explaining to your banker why you need another loan for a
$70,000 truck to pull the four $20,000 sleds, on your $15,000 trailer
that you still owe $50,000 on. Now, you are 50% ready, and somewhat
conditioned to head for the trails and ride your sled.

 

[Deeppow16]

Thats pretty close on everything. Sounds just like a weekend of sledding.

 

[NOS-PRO]

FROTFLMAO!!!!!!!