Indy
TY 4 Stroke God
These great questions and answers are from the
> days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were
spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now.
>
> Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.
>
> Q. Do female frogs croak?
> A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long
enough.
>
> Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high
should
>you
> be?
> A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
>
> Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
> A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
>
> Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man
>or a
> woman?
> A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
>
> Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you
think
> that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's
>married?
> A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
>
> Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
> A Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
>
> Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love
>You"?
> A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
>
> Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
> A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next
>apartment.
>
> Q As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
>hands
> while talking?
> A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question, Peter, and
>I'll
> give you a gesture you'll never forget.
>
> Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you
going to
>get
> any during the first year?
> A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
>
> Q. In bowling, what's a perfect! score?!
> A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
>
> Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
>camps.
> One is politics, what is the other?
> A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
>
> Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
> A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
>
> Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
> A Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
>
> Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
>goose
> do?
> A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
>
> Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
> A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
>
> Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting
into
>the
> habit of kissing a lot of people?
> A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
>
> Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
> A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
>
> Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
>head,
> what was he trying to do?
> A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
>
> Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
> elephant?
> A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
>
> Q. When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
> A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
>
> Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them
>and
> has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
> A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
>
> Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do
>in
> bed?
> A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh.
> days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were
spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now.
>
> Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.
>
> Q. Do female frogs croak?
> A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long
enough.
>
> Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high
should
>you
> be?
> A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
>
> Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
> A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
>
> Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man
>or a
> woman?
> A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
>
> Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you
think
> that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's
>married?
> A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
>
> Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
> A Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
>
> Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love
>You"?
> A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
>
> Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
> A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next
>apartment.
>
> Q As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
>hands
> while talking?
> A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question, Peter, and
>I'll
> give you a gesture you'll never forget.
>
> Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you
going to
>get
> any during the first year?
> A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
>
> Q. In bowling, what's a perfect! score?!
> A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
>
> Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
>camps.
> One is politics, what is the other?
> A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
>
> Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
> A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
>
> Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
> A Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
>
> Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
>goose
> do?
> A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
>
> Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
> A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
>
> Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting
into
>the
> habit of kissing a lot of people?
> A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
>
> Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
> A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
>
> Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
>head,
> what was he trying to do?
> A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
>
> Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
> elephant?
> A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
>
> Q. When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
> A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
>
> Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them
>and
> has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
> A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
>
> Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do
>in
> bed?
> A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh.
Ahh the good old day's 
